headchecks

i wish i was still passionate so i can pretend to love life but still no words come out no words can

i was tricked into thinking nothing about me is okay but everything is okay, i swear to god it's okay

for fuck's sake, define happy i need to know what it is i want to be what it is are you?

choose a number from one to four have you felt lonely? have you felt angry? have you felt like you want to destroy yourself?

i've already tried to do whatever you're suggesting to— everything i try just comes back.

i wish i can blame you for everything i feel but i know in some ways, i walked into this everytime i see you, i tense up just a bit i wish i didn't daydream so damn much

when i see your face it's nothing i remember vaguely it's you but so full of hate

choose a number from ten to twelve that's how many hours that i've cried i hope you got what you fucking want

i wish i was still passionate so i can pretend to move on but still my feet are planted still my feet are planted

and i know you'll never love me never touch me, never kiss me i almost killed myself and you didn't blink.

you're nobody, melker your heart beats out your chest you're nobody, melker du känner dig lite hemsk

you're nobody, melker can't pronounce the town you're from you're nobody, melker men du saknar honom

you're nobody, melker 28 and counting. så många killar är så mycket bättre why even bother trying?

but i still love you, melker vi ser mycket lika ut we're nobodies, melker and soon we're back to soot.

from everywhere to anywhere it's only thirty minutes

i wish i can breathe your air if only for a minute

crying on your shoulder, i forgot that you were older you moved away, wish you were gay but i remember when i heard you say

i'm here for you, we'll see this through, it'll be over in a minute

huff huff huff my nose hurts my soul hurts my throat hurts.

i can't hear my own evidence as i yell and laugh, albeit pretending that i'm having the time of my life

huff huff huff. ears nose and throat. mucous membranes of the spirit absorbing through osmosis.

culture, loving, romance each and every passing second i want to live that, i want to dream that but wants become realities and my purpose is depleted.

huff huff huff.

there once was a fag in the bay he preferred fag rather than gay because it cuts to the chase has a clear face so watch what you fucking say

i had another dream last night that i'd forgiven you everything just felt so right nothing there was blue

i had another dream last night you smiled and you were gentle we never even had a fight the thought alone was mental

i had another dream last night that we achieved our dreams awake, our futures are still bright though we're different teams

i had another dream last night i woke up feeling blue nothing since then has felt alright and it's all because of you

you called me, i was intimate with myself, yet i picked up

you came to me, you were offering your help, and i said yes

you laid your head down, i worried for your health

and i haven't worried that much before

if i steal a wolf away, is it still a crime? to claim him purely for myself to make him purely mine

babe, sweetie, honey i'm absolutely fine. i've seen the way you've glanced at me the way your eyes meet mine

if i steal a wolf away, will i still have time— to be a happy person and live a happy life?

the falcon soars over mountains to tell me of the word that my wolf is sick and dying i scoff and kill the bird.

can corporations feel? can they believe in a god? can they eat? can they speak? what does a corporation look like and why does a corporation have more political power than me, the “citizen”

i can feel i can believe in a god. i can eat. i can speak. the space in which i occupy is my person but why does a person have less rights than a stack of papers than me, the “citizen”

all things loving rot eventually but the wealth, the money, the impact always stays to rule the next generation of those who are living

listen here, my friends am i guilty in my soul? am i guilty to the bone? i feel guilty on my own.

listen here, my friends half a fraction claims our land they do not understand they do not understand

we've poisoned ourselves to think we are only worthy if we are fuckable flawless free

but even retouched i am still so much myself. but i'll fade to ash and dust eventually