headchecks

you try to overwrite him with someone else— a different man.

(you even tried a woman in an feeble attempt to be normal)

… it will never work.

your memory of him is hazy compressed and saved as a jpeg screenshotted and cropped it’s half noise and half effigy

all those hits, all those concussions, those little deaths you can’t really remember what he was actually like … but you remember what you wanted him to be.

you wanted him to be great you believed in him maybe he could’ve played in the AHL … if he was a little taller.

you can’t bring yourself to hate him, i mean, it makes sense those hopes for him … were hopes for yourself.

i know it hurts. … it's supposed to.

he still takes up too much space in your mind. you think about deleting it, replacing it … but you can’t.

it would be stupid to try and overwrite a part of yourself, anyways.