headchecks

my parents are always on my case for not having a plan for my year off school but i do have a plan. i go out to semi professional sporting events and act all tsundere. men, especially jocks with inflated egos, are stupid horny and i will snag a man or two in no time and be a sugar baby. my androgynous looks and mysterious presence will draw them in like a siren song. no matter what their sexuality is, they’ll question it at the sight of me. meanwhile i build my portfolio as an independent artist.

the one that eventually strikes up a conversation with me asks me if i want to get coffee with him. i agree. he pays for me despite my arguments. but its not at all patronizing or pitying me–he asked me, so he thinks he should pay.

the first time i stay overnight in his apartment, i kiss him. he’s surprised. the next morning, he leaves me a hand written note apologizing for having to leave early for practice, along with $300 in cash, just for keeping him company and talking with him.

then i’ll do something awfully endearing like paint a portrait of his dog and he falls in love with me and wants to become serious. he asks me to move in with him and i do. during his first offseason with me he proposes to me. it’s all too fast but i say yes.

(our wedding will be held off for years, but neither of us mind, because whether or not we’re married, we’re happy.)

i start signing my paintings with a hyphenated surname